BLOG: A Football Life – The New Beginning (PART 5)

Coming off a season where we were able to dominate in all phases with relative ease our team identity was incredibly vague moving into the 2013 season. One thing was for sure. We would not look the same. We ended the era symbolically by getting new uniforms. Mine was debuted at the team spring banquet, on a female frame. Flattering, thank goodness it was never that cold on game day.

Our star Quarterback Kyle Quinlan was gone with the hourglass on his shining career finally reaching its final grain of salt. As a result after three years of sitting, waiting and wishing to get my chance I was in as the leader of a team and a program which I deeply loved with guys I could not wait to play with.

On top of Kyle leaving there were also questions as to the availability of CFL drafted offensive lineman Matt Sewell, stud receiver Mike Dicroce and defensive backfield leader Mike Daly among others.

That summer I took part in the CIS East-West bowl. An eye opening experience regarding the quality of talent across the country which I was rarely exposed to based on the lack of a true national CIS football network. Not to mention I was busy playing each fall while these guys were too.

I went 10-22 for 99 yards no touchdowns and two interceptions. Needless to say I would not be getting a call in May of 2014 from a CFL team requiring my services.

That Summer I also had the opportunity to attend training camp with the Calgary Stampeders on  the basis of a CIS quarterback internship. I learned more in two weeks from John Hufnagel, Dave Dickenson and company than I had in any two week period of my football life. These internship programs really do work in acclimatizing athletes to the altitude of the next level so that Canadian football players have a legitimate chance to breath if given the opportunity to climb Mt. Everest.

The Quarterback meetings in Calgary featured such an incredible mashup of personalities, healthy disfunction, honesty, friendship and competition it truly was incredible to be a part of. I felt like a journalist embedded with the 10th mountain division of Fort Drum, New York in the hills of Afghanistan studying wind patterns.

When I arrived there Bo Levi Mitchell was an energetic loud random third string guy who walked everywhere in a Houston Texans hat and worked out three times a day. Drew Tate was the incumbent starter hell bent on having an injury free season for the first time in years and Kevin Glenn was the veteran insurance backup plan.

KG is a hell of a lot more than just a solid backup plan. In my eyes he is up there as the most disrespected CFL Quarterback of our generation while posting incredible career numbers.

I returned from Calgary a better player having been in the room with those men. Mission accomplished.

We trained hard through the sumer as always but numbers were not close to the preseason of 2011 and 2011. I feared we were over valuing our worth and not sticking with the fundamentals which had led us to consecutive Vanier Cup appearances.

One thing was for sure we would all respect the newest member of our staff. Gary Jeffries. Coach Jeff was the only reason I considered WLU in the recruiting process. His genuine honest thoughtful approach to life is appreciated and loved by all that know him. I don’t think there was anyone happier than myself to see him added to our staff leading into August.

Another exciting note was the addition of another Frontenac grad. The stronger, sexier younger brother of Ben, Mitch O’Connor was making the trip to the hammer in an attempt to follow in his brothers incredible legacy.

I adopted the white guy small quarterback black visor look a la my Calgary mentor Drew Tate in hopes that I would attain some of his fun loving nature and creative playmaking. You know what they say. Look like a guy you respect, feel like a guy you respect, play like a guy you respect?

Close enough.

During training camp back at Mac I had a GoPro strapped to me for the better part of a full power practice. This gave me permanent video images from my view that will last forever which I appreciate about once every six months.

In week one we played host to Ottawa. Taking the field to a solid student less crowd at Ron Joyce I’ll never forget hearing PA announcer Bill Malley say “now at Quarterback for your Marauders Marshall Ferguson”.

Boom.

Four years of waiting and learning and patience and clipboards and film rooms all wiped away. That was the moment it all became real. My first pass sailed high over a wide open crossing route. An unfortunate trend to the afternoon.

Our running game was dominant (foreshadowing I believe its called) and we won 51-24. Along the way I was destroyed a couple times by my most and least favourite opponent of all time. Ottawa Defensive Tackle / pass rusher / man not of this world Ettore Lattanzio. ET got me good a couple times and left me wondering how the hell Kyle never missed a start due to injury through his four years as a starter.

In week two we played at Queens. going back to Richardson Stadium was an incredible powerful experience for me. I grew up watching games there, I attended public school track meets there and I had a weird connection to everything from the colours to the oil thigh hymn to the old wooden stands. I felt like I was 7 feet tall and back in the playground. Everything around me felt so small, it was as if I could throw the ball 70 yards with a wind in my face that day. I think my coaches sensed this. As a result we threw.

And threw.

And threw.

And threw.

And threw some more.

I ended up going 36-57 for 446 yards and three touchdowns. The 57 attempts tied me for an all time OUA record in one game (with Michael Faulds who I went through high school idolizing) a number which also didn’t count the four successful completions which were stripped off the record by various penalties.

The story of the day though was the two touchdowns I threw to Queens. Maybe I had a bit too much comfort with the tricolour. One was an unfortunate fluke play in which the sturdiest hands Ive ever been around belonging to Josh Vanderweerd popped a ball off the turf 15 yards into the air while the other was a poor decision on a deep ball by yours truly.

We battled and battled and battled, and lost 31-24. Heartbreak. The type of afternoon only a hug from mom and a visit from friends will fix.

However with every heart break comes the opportunity to persevere. We had a date set in week three with Western at home and could not go 1-2.

Week three was our first exposure to the Sportsnet experience in 2013. Tim and the gang made the trip to Hamilton. Pregame I stood with Tim next to a glass door and enjoyed our typical pre game discussion consisting of what I thought was great about his radio show that week and his high school experience in the afternoons conditions. As we spoke around 10am the rain fell so hard that the drains flooded and the back hall at McMaster began to take on water. Tim and I were astounded and agreed we both needed to find motivation to attack the day as we parted ways.

That Western team was GOOD. Their linebacking core featured two guys who would become CFL dressers a year later in Beau Landy and Pawel Kruba and their front four were close to as good as it gets in the OUA.

With that said their were holes in spots and we did not execute at a level that allowed us to stay relevant. Dylan Ainsworth (Now Saskatchewan property) popped me in a way that I thought knocked the wind out of me. I would learn what it meant to have no air in my lungs five minutes later when Wayne Moore fumbled diving across the goal line leaving me and UWO Defensive Back Simon Bahru one on one.

Knowing absolutely nothing about taking on a block I blindly threw myself into Simon (a great guy who I got to know at the East-West bowl). Immediately I had no oxygen. I can honestly say i’ve never been so confused and threatened in my athletic career. These are things which pretty much any player whose positions does not start with a ‘Q’ or a ‘K’ experience on a fairly regular basis but it was a rare experience for myself. I’ll never forget hearing Simon’s voice say “Marsh are you okay”?

I had no oxygen, I could not speak.

Upon reviewing the film Simon actually stopped mid play to ask before continuing on his way to finish someone else with a block. Class act.

I spent way too much time that afternoon soaked, cold and laying on my back making my family wonder if I was dead. In hindsight I am incredibly thankful to Chris Puskas and his staff for their ability to make you laugh in a moment of need.

We lost at home 58-15. Only the 4th loss at Ron Joyce Stadium since it opened in 2008. At 1-2 we were at a crossroads. We had no real identity as an offence and I had no idea what I was doing.

In week four we hosted the York Lions. This was a perfect opportunity to release the frustration of the previous three weeks. We played angry. For the first time in 2013 I remember the fire of the previous two years appearing in everyone. I threw a touchdown to Ben and ran a 4.2 to the end zone to meet him. I am not a 4.2 guy.

Eventual CIS rookie of the year Danny Vandervoort went crazy. There were moments in that game where I saw Danny with two people on him and just knew he was better than anyone on the field so I threw it high and away where only he could catch it. The result was 5 catches for 117 yards and 3 touchdowns not including the 75 yard TD catch that was wiped away by a holding call.

Danny began signing autographs and colouring in pictures of himself at kids hospital visits with me while we were all blown away by his ability to adapt immediately to the CIS game and absolutely dominate.

Back on track we headed for Guelph in week five. I had fond memories of this stadium after winning there in relief duty in 2011. The setting was unique. Tim and the crew were there. Again they brought the pouring rain with them. The stadium was expanded to accomodate the Hamilton Ti-cats allowing our fans to sit atop a bleacher that felt like a castle wall with the track serving as a moat to separate us.

(Shot from atop the castle wall)

The game came down to a final drive where we found ourselves down 8. We drove the length of the field with desperation chuck after desperation huck. We scored a touchdown with seconds left and had a chance to tie with a two point conversion.

We ran a play which was nearly automatic in the score zone, but on this afternoon it was a complete failure. We did not tie the game and were once again below .500. It stung, a lot. So many missed opportunities and on the outside looking in at playoff positioning to a team we knew we could beat.

In week six we returned home for homecoming. A sixty two point victory over Waterloo proved nothing. The cold reality of the OUA.

The following week we traveled to Laurier and earned a 28-5 decision through one of the most frustrating 4th quarters of my career. We were handily in control of the afternoon and refused to run the ball. Frustration spread from the defence to the offence. People became heated on the sideline and a negative energy began to permeate though the entire roster. All of a sudden nobody was really having any fun and communication was at an all time low. Nobody wanted anything to do with each other.

I found this picture of myself heading for the handshake line following the final whistle. Eyes drained, brain exhausted. Not myself.

To conclude the regular season we headed for Ottawa to take on the Carleton Ravens in the finale of their inaugural season. At 0-7 Carleton was no pushover. They had the ability to strike early and often and played the role of spoiler with nothing to lose to perfection.

I have zero interest in records or my standing in the all time books. However through that week many people filled me in that I was close to the school record for touchdown passes in a season, only a couple away from the OUA record and if the game really went well the CIS record was not unthinkable.

Ever wonder why chasing numbers and records is bad for karmic energy? Four interceptions and an awful bus ride home later should answer that question.

Chasing records is the worst kind of motivation possible. Once a person, player or coach begins aiming for a statistic instead of an emotional response and connection to the people around you all hope is lost. These things come to great players when they are earned through team environments and incredible supporting casts. Not through forced decisions and extrinsic motivation. We won 45-3 and nobody was happy.

I set the school record for touchdown passes in a regular season at 21 without ever caring. I completed 199 passes at a 63.4% completion rate for 2410 yards. None of it mattered. I was kind of miserable.

We earned a home playoff game against Ottawa. An event which in 2009 or 2010 would have surely created excitement around campus but perspectives and winning had spoiled many on campus leaving the game with a minimal student presence which did not go unnoticed by the players.

Somehow my hogs were able to make sure i barely if ever had to see or feel The DT named ET.

At one point late i the third I took a shot to my arm while waiting for Mike Dicroce to come out of his cut which made my arm numb. I had no feeling in my hand, I wondered on immediate impact if my shoulder was separated. Thankfully nothing had to be popped in or out of anything else but when I got to the sideline and picked up a ball my hand was weak and pain shot through my shoulder down to my elbow and up through my neck. I assured my coaches I was okay and refused to come out.

I waited 3 years for a home playoff game there was no way in hell I was leaving unless something was broken beyond repair. The first series back in play we called a basic zone read play but with a different pass route called should I decide to pull the ball and run. Instead of his usual 14->12 comeback my best friend of Falcon glory days Ben O’Connor was told to run a fly down the field. I was told about the change up as I walked onto the field. I thought hmm thats weird but it was the least of my concerns. After all I couldn’t feel my hand what do I care where Ben is running he never gets the ball anyways on this play.

I took the snap and reached back to Wayne Moore for the handoff. Wa.. Wayne?? Nothing.

Wayne had accidentally gone the wrong direction on the handoff leaving an unblocked defensive end in my face wondering what the hell we were doing. I looked up and saw Ben absolutely burning his defender. Without thinking I raised up and threw the ball as far as I could to Ben’s outside portion of the field. He hauled in a game changing touchdown catch. I remember turning around to Wayne as the bench exploded with excitement, “Wayne man you are such an idiot but damn do I love you”. Wayne laughed harder than I’ve ever seen him do before.

The joy of football the raw emotion of competition error and success that few other things in life can match was on display and purely captured in this picture of me seconds after throwing the touchdown to Ben, raising the arm which had no feeling and had somehow just reached its maximum potential.

All during that week I barely threw a ball in preparation for our OUA semi in London against the Mustangs. My arm just felt weird. Similar to my psyche late in the season it just wasn’t itself.

We went into London and played completely flat. Our defence dominated one of the very best offences in the country and we rewarded them with a handful of yards and a sympathy card from the dollar store. It was a disgusting feeling to let down our room like that.

During the game we said goodbye to Mike Dicroce who slammed his back on the Western track (DEAR WESTERN, FIX THIS…) while attempting to catch a sidelines fade ball and after the game we were forced to say goodbye to so many other quality seniors.

I doubted I would return. I remember hugging Ben O’Connor after completing a pass to him on the last drive that I thought surely would be our last connection. We both sensed we were done and the silent head nod confirmed it. I felt a strange sense of sadness disappointment and relief following the game. I was done, I was free. My body could finally stop being in pain as it had since that week one matchup with ET and the Gee-Gees. Free at last, free at last or so I thought.

After a couple weeks of contemplation I realized that feeling of relief was simply a result of the inevitable mental exhaustion that comes with being the quarterback of a high level football program. Besides the last time we lost at Western in an OUA semifinal under the cold lights of TD Waterhouse stadium in 2010 some good things happened the following year..

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